Ah! The Family Grandiose! Envied by many, yet emulated by few.
Baronet. Undisputed head of the family. Age: Rude to ask. Education: More than a few of Britain's finest educational establishments. Nickname: Mr. Blinkie [Note from Sir Charles Grandiose: It most certainly is not.]
Indefatiguable matriarch and nonpareil embellisher of opera glasses. Age: Extremely rude to ask. Education: Magna cum laude, Miss Dalyrimple's Finishing College. Notable accomplishments: Winner, Sour Chutney and Prune Preserves Division of the Memoirs of the Raj Chutney Parade, twelve years running.
Step-mother to the Lady Felicia. Object of horror to Sir Charles. Ignored by young Penelope Windsor-Smythe as much as possible. Subject to wind. Age: Older than sin. Moles: Several.
Sir Colin Bates
Nee Master Bates. Recent Knight. Engaged to young Penelope Windsor-Smythe. Hair: Sun-kissed. Arms: Masculine, muscular, and with just a hint of manly hair. Chest: Deep. Eyes: Piercing. Occupation: Former blacksmith.
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