Diva Stedman, perpetually shorter than she would like, attempts to remedy her lack of height with decidedly high heels. Unfortunately, she has never mastered the art of walking upon them, giving her an unsteady, bobbing appearance, especially when in motion. And she is usually in motion.
This short, rotund woman seems as one of those wind-up toys so popular with children. Unfortunately, her heavy-duty spring never winds down. When she is not trotting from place to place, she is gossiping; when she's not gossiping, she's making fish-mouthed responses to gossip. Even at rest, she seems alert.
Although her parents hail from Penzance, Godiva Spinks Stedman has lived in Poddington-on-Slossip for as long as she cares to remember. After the death of her husband (after only three months of marriage...the poor dear died because he accidentally mistook strychnine for the corn flake sugar. It was ruled an accident at the inquest, of course. Men are always such a muddle in the kitchen. Diva doesn't know who could have switched the canisters!), Diva turned to spiritualism for comfort. In a message from beyond the grave, Mr. Stedman, occupying Diva's pencil in an automatic writing session, scrawled out the words, ". . . budgeree . . . buns . . . tea . . . thirsty . . . ", which Diva immediately assumed were instructions to convert her comfortable home in Acorn Lane into a tea shop, rather than the dictation of her empty stomach.
Since that time, Diva has lived contentedly in the upper storey of her home with her brother Giles, running the tea shoppe not so much for money, but for the company and the gossip.